Motherhood

Baby boy, I don’t care about what we have — I care about you.

Written by Lauren Bodhaine

Dear Son,

I haven’t met you yet but I feel you close. I wonder every day what you’ll be like, as I assume most expecting moms probably do. I wonder what will interest you, what will make you laugh, what will fill your heart with excitement. I wonder what you’ll be passionate about and what your dreams will be. I wonder how big you’ll grow and what you’ll look like. I wonder who your role models will be and who you’ll look up to most. I wonder how you’ll show your love and who you’ll choose to be close to.

So many unanswered questions right now.

You may not be able to tell me much about yourself yet, but I can tell you a little about me and what I feel about you already.

I don’t think I’m a lot like most moms. Most moms are easily excited by baby stuff. Like decorating the perfect nursery, or ogling over baby outfits, or picking out the perfect gear for the registry. All of those things honestly stress me out more than anything. I’m not very good at decorating, we don’t even have a room for you yet. Baby outfits are cute and all, but generally I just find myself picturing their inevitable fate, which is to become overpriced burp cloths. And baby gear, while I suppose most of it is necessary, seems like it will just add to the clutter and tripping hazards in our little one-bedroom apartment. And as I’m sure you’ll soon find out, your dad and I are already clumsy enough as it is.

Babies have never really been my thing. I don’t have that natural gift for communicating and interacting with little children. Maybe that’s why most of the things that usually get people excited about having babies and kids don’t really do much for me. I don’t really care about all the stuff. I don’t really care about what we have or don’t have.

I do really care about you. I love you so much already and I haven’t even met you! I care about who you are and who you’ll become. That’s what gets me excited when I think about becoming your mom. I’m so pumped to get to tell you every day that you are so incredibly loved, not only by your mom and dad and aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, but by a Heavenly Father who created you and who knows you perfectly. I’m excited to be able to teach you that you have a purpose in this life, that there is a plan for you, and that your Savior Jesus Christ makes all of it possible.

I so look forward to the little moments of simple discussion about kindness and choosing to do what’s right. I can’t wait to watch you learn, and improve, and grow in understanding of the things that are most important in this life. I know I’ll see you fail sometimes, and that’s perfectly ok. We need failure as much as we need success, if not more. I hope I can show you that failure is an essential part of this life. I can’t wait to help you understand that just because we fail does not mean we are failures. It means we get a new opportunity to try again, to learn, and to get better. I can’t wait for you to learn how Jesus Christ makes all of your new beginnings possible.

No matter how many unknowns there are in life right now, or in your life whenever you read this, a few simple truths will always be constant. Both your Heavenly parents and your earthly parents love you for exactly who you are. You are eternally valuable. You are eternally important. You have eternal potential.

When I picture you joining our lives, those are the things that excite me most. I just hope I can raise you to know them as surely as I do.

So much love,

Your Mom

About the author

Lauren Bodhaine

I'm a wife and soon-to-be mom living in North Carolina. Cooking, baking, singing, and animals are a few of my favorite things. I love God and my family and am just working every day to try a little harder to be a little better.

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